THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE BAG-END: BINGO BOLGER-BAGGINS
Oh! Where am I? Why it looks like Bag-end! I wonder how I got here. I think I tried to get back for days and days. No, it wasn't a dream really--it was a place, a real, truly, live place. And Trotter and Sam and Frodo and Anaire were there. But they couldn't have been, could they? And I remember some of it wasn't very nice, but most of it . . . wasn't very nice either. And I had on the most lovely, sparkly, red shoes. Quite odd, really, to be wearing shoes, but they set off my foot-fur so nicely, since I have a winter complexion. And all I wanted was to get back home. And they sent me home. That's all I can remember after my fall.
Let's see if I can get up . . . oh, careful on that ankle. I will be needing a walking stick for a little while, I'm afraid. Huh. The door is locked. How odd! I'm sure there must be a good reason for that. HELLO? I'm rather hungry.