Now, if I were a Dark Lord, what kind of tea would I prefer? Caffeinated, I suppose. I have no idea what flavour though, so I best check to see that we are stocked up on a variety. And now for the letter:
Long and Arda Productions, Inc.
Lonely Mountain/ Erebor
Dear Morgoth the Enemy,
I am terribly sorry to hear that my actions in regards to your son cross your personal boundaries and I hope we can rectify this situation to both our satisfactions. Rather than meeting at the desolate Lonely Mountain, I was hoping we could converse over a spot of tea, if you would be so kind as to pay me an afternoon visit to Back End. Here I could host you properly one last time to settle matters amenably. What say you?
I await your reply.
Bingo Bolger-Baggins, Esq.
Done. Sent eagle express. Now, I'll just give Shlomo a copy of all correspondence to have a look over. And then wait. And until then, rest, as I am so weary I could sleep for days. I want nothing more than to curl up with my a'maelamin. That is all I want.