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The Bastard of Bagshot Row
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Thursday, July 4th, 2002

Time Event
Elven Family Dynamics 101, at Lindon: Bingo Bolger-Baggins
There's a lovely view of the restless sea as I stand outside the feast hall on this marble balcony bedecked with finely carved columns embraced by twining vines heavy with the blooms of jasmine and roses. And I'm having quite a feast because no one else is bothering. The hall's rather empty because most of the visitors seem to be off nursing their ancient feuds. Immortality is not all it's cracked up to be, it seems. The family dynamics here make the quarreling at Bag-End look like a romantic candle-lit dinner. At least Sam and Frodo's fights rarely involve chainsaws!

You'd think the longer someone lived, the more enlightened they'd become. It doesn't seem to work that way, apparently. I've just been here a day and I've already encountered my fair share of elven bigotry. And I'm worried about Elanor. She seems sad, and I wonder if the family she's thrown in her lot with, as well as her lifespan, can really give her the appreciation and comfort she deserves.

It's certainly exquisitely beautiful here; the Elven sense of aesthetics is unsurpassed. But as far as social protocol goes, I won't be sad to take the next bus back to Hobbiton.
POSSIBLE LAST ENTRY: Bingo Bolger-Baggins
Well, I'm in a bit of a fix. I'm being chased by one enraged Elven Lord, one Fingolfin, brandishing his legendary sword on high, and his ungrateful little lordly son, Fingon. And no help is in sight.

Oh Elanorelle, I'm sorry I didn't make a good impression on your family here. But the feeling is quite mutual. Um, I'm sorry if I leave blood stains on the carpet.

Um, ah, a laundry chute!
Dear Yavanna, Vanna, Este, Varda, or any Vala with nothing better to do!!!!

I'm but an innocent hobbit! Please help me!
Oooooo, where am I? Ooowwwww! I, I, I ffffeel bbburnt all ovvver . . . sssmote . . . almosttt k,k,killed by Elf L,Lord. T,turned into a mmmmmonkey. ::feels face::

Mmmmust be back to nnnormal . . .nnormal. C,c,caged . . . C,C,CAGED . . . HELP . . . I,i,i'm bbback in UUMMBARRR--NNNOTTT TTTHEREEE!! HELLLLP!!!! ::starts hyperventilating::

Help! huhuhuhuhuhuh

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