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The Bastard of Bagshot Row
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Thursday, July 11th, 2002

Time Event
Randy and Proud: Bingo Bolger-Baggins
What of it? So what if I'm often flirting and looking to be picked up? I'm a single hobbit and I happen to like sex. I mean, there's nothing that compares to sex for distracting you from the thought that you're not having sex with whom you really want to be having sex with, right? And it's not like I'm thinking of it all the time. When there are more pressing matters of moment, like a life-threatening situation . . . well, I guess I do even then, scratch that, but what of it now! Why not?

And who's Samwise Gamgee, an old married hobbit--who has Frodo to play "Naked in Mordor" with 20 times a day if he wants to--who is he to judge the sex life of a single hobbit? I'll flirt with whomever I want, and sleep with whomever I want and wants me! And who is he to act like there's something wrong with that? It's not like I have someone to come home to every day to take in my arms! He doesn't know what it's like.

And how many times now has Samwise said cruel things to me that sent me home weeping? Oh, he's always sorry afterward, but so what? Why does he have to say those things at all!? I could never imagine sweet Hamilcar saying some of the things he says! It's just uncalled for! And I'm not putting up with it anymore, that's for certain. I see how it is now. And that's the last time Samwise Gamgee makes me weep.

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