January 4th, 2003

impish, amused

"The Line It Is Drawn": Bingo Bolger-Baggins

There is a feeling of delicious exuberance one feels when health returns after a time of illness. An almost indestructible feeling, I suppose. Such a time I have been enjoying, all the moreso because of who I have been sharing it with. And perhaps even more intensely for the time we feared we might lose each other.

But it is a new year. And together, a'maelamin and I rang in the new year with our good friends MiniFrodo and MiniSam in Plastic Town. "Rang." How appropriate. Hmmm. Anyway, we had a lovely time with them. And I've gotten about the Shire a little on my own again. I had a chat with my delightful Aunt Asphodel, who has just returned to Buckland. I even visited with Sam who, along with my brother, seems to be finally bonding again with Daisy. I am still quite worried about Elanor. I wrote her, but haven't heard back; still, I do know she's in the loving care of Merry and Erchi, but if I don't hear from her soon, I may have to talk to a'maelamin about a trip to Dol Amroth.

Yesterday was the Professor's birthday and I shared a toast with PlasticGandalf and then I met the Professor himself. It was somewhat of a transforming experience, I think. He loved me for my own smile, and not because it looked like someone else's. I know that sounds stupid, I suppose, but it really meant something special to me.

So, here we are. And I am so very happy to be back home in the Pantry Smial with a'maelamin. Life couldn't be better. And yet . . . there's this ring that I am wearing today. The ring he made. This pretty little ring. Our ring. And the sooner we get rid of it, the sooner we can settle back into this wonderful life of ours together. And the other ring in my pocket. So why do I fear to just . . . go . . . and get the quest over with? Why haven't I said to a'maelamin, "let us go now?" And why hasn't he said the same to me? And what was that strange dream I had the other night all about?

Change. And no change. Both are fearful things.
  • Current Music
    Bob Dylan - The Times They Are A-Changing