Bingo Bolger-Baggins, Esqre (bbolger_baggins) wrote,
Bingo Bolger-Baggins, Esqre

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Sleepless in the Smial: Bingo Bolger-Baggins

I just can't sleep, still, so I might as well be up writing, I suppose. It's not that I'm not doing anything to tire myself, as I've gotten out more in the past few days than I have the entire month. And I'm so glad I went with Grandmum Mirabella to meet</a> my Great Uncle Isengar at Great Smials--I see where Uncle Bilbo got his poetic muse from now. And it surely did my heart good to see Folly and Melby again. So few old early draft friends seem to be around anymore, I thank Elbereth that these two have returned. And it's nice to have found a golfing buddy in that sweet Tiger fellow.

Yet it's not that it hasn't been busy enough here at Undertowers, what with Halfast and Grandmum visiting, though Grandmum should be leaving tomorrow. They've been dears to me. But all the stress on dear Elanorelle, what with G-g's lapse into elflinghood, and poor Merin being stalked, on top of caring for a newborn, has added tension throughout the smial. I do worry about my lovely friend. Not to mention the stress of being extra careful not to step in the jello that has collected in the lower dales whenever venturing out.

And I promised Elanorelle, I'd talk with Merin. It's just when I think about telling him about my experience with Melkor, I can't help but think about what that night later meant to Iorhael and me. And I wonder about all the fear and need for comfort that I brought with me that night, that shouldn't have been between us . . . and I can't help but think I did something wrong, else a'maelamin would still be here. And I cloud beautiful memories between us with irrational doubt. But perhaps that's because I miss him so much. . . and that's why sleep is still so hard to come by. And my thoughts keep racing back to him. So I must still them before I talk to the lad. It's just a day by day journey, letting go and . . . and moving on.

And . . . oh dear, I wonder what exactly they put in that Fuzzy Foot I had this evening . . . excuse me . . . .

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