Bingo Bolger-Baggins, Esqre (bbolger_baggins) wrote,
Bingo Bolger-Baggins, Esqre

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Of Do-It-Yourself Restraining Orders and Immortal Powers of Evil: Bingo Bolger-Baggins

After a perfectly delicious evening, Iorhael and I were awoken by the smial guardian's alarm to find that Melkor had invaded Back End and transported Uncle Senie and Tiger to Primrose's bed for his own sophomoric amusement.

We all then gathered in the kitchen for safety's sake, and Tobey, and later, Halfast, joined us. Then who should appear in our midst uninvited, but Melkor's young offspring, Damien. Having had enough of this, I tried something I had learned from Iorhael--I rifted Damien into my first attempt at Musedom, a small Pocket Realm.

With The Toddler of Doom secured thusly, we now have a bargaining chip with which to approach Melkor that won't involve our being coerced into unsavory work we do not wish to undertake or other hardened conditions. And now I have a letter to write:

Office of the CEO
Long and Arda Productions, Inc.
Melkor's Fun Palace
Some Unsavory Location

Dear Morgoth the Enemy,

I wish to apologize for being such a poor host when you visited us last night, but you entered without invitation, transporting two of my smial mates and purloining their accouterments, leaving me no means to rectify this situation.

Coincidentally, I had the pleasure of greeting your son Damien when he entered our habitation without invitation as well. He is thus secured in an undisclosed location not of this Arda, that only I can reach. I would be more than glad to fetch him into your safe keeping and supervision on condition that you contract with us that neither you or he will enter Back End ever again or harm any of its inhabitants and guests.

I do appreciate your taking the time to peruse my humble proposal and I look forward to your timely reply.

Certainly not your servant,
Bingo Bolger-Baggins, Esq.

There. Sent. Now to see how everyone else is faring and await a reply.

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