Bingo Bolger-Baggins, Esqre (bbolger_baggins) wrote,
Bingo Bolger-Baggins, Esqre

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In the Outback, When Bingo Was a Little Bear: Bingo Bolger-Baggins

And Bingo dreamed. He dreamed of his life in the outback when he was a little bear. And the parties they would have. And Arnie. Oh my Eru, how they hated that big bastard Arnie! Always pushing everybody around and telling them what to do! What a domineering, regular Type A fucktard he was! Oh yes, he was!

Oh, and Bingo dreamed about how happy they were when the big persons built that great, big highway . . . and Arnie was on the other side (see charts)!!!!! Oh, how they laughed and laughed! And oh, how they slept in big collective heaps of joy! Sometimes change is not so bad, yes? That was a good time.

Then Bingo woke. And he was hungry. And very bored with his low carb diet. What was the matter with body fat anyway? He wanted biscuits and bacon and waffles and lots of syrup and butter. How else would he get bigger? He climbed down from the ornamental mallorn tree and headed for the kitchen alcove.

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