See Chapter 1 here.
See Chapter 2 here.
Chapter 3. Quite Simple: Bingo Bolger-Baggins
[All the usual disclaimers apply. Some of the characters and places mentioned herein are based on those of J.R.R. Tolkien, though I hardly think he'd want them back when I'm finished with them, and as Bingo reminds me, he wasn't even wanted in the first place. Many images here are inspired by Jackson/Walsh/Boyen's film adaptation of LotR. There's no money in this, so don't even think it. I bet every kid would like to get paid for playing dolls, but life's tough. Credit lavendertook, if you will, because the following text and pictures are nobody else's damn fault, but my own.]
This climbing . . . is a little more . . . difficult than I remember. *puff* I suppose . . . it has been quite a few years since last I mounted an oliphaunt, and I'm . . . not completely up to form. *puff* All right, I'm not even in the same farthing of up to form, thank you very much, since the last mumak I climbed was probably ten times as big as this one. And further, I'd be flat back on the ground by about this time if it were one that big. And Elrond and Galadriel would be laughing their immortal asses off at me. *sighs* Before they helped me up and brushed me off, that is. *smiles at the thought of his friends' indulgence* And Bilbo would be shaking his head in complete sympathy. *grins* Good, ole Bilbo.
I'll just rest here a moment, if you don't mind, as I contemplate the necessity of going to the gym like all the Elves do. Oh, you thought their svelte figures were just part of being immortal and Iluvatar's Firstborn, didn't you? No, they work it like a warg on the Helcaraxe being chased by a balrog in ice skates, if you want to know. I do not think I would well survive the typical exercise regimen of the Eldar, but I will make a point of going and doing . . . something. My "quite simple" isn't turning out, that way, is it? Still, there's nothing for it, but to keep going. Now . . .
. . . Oh dear Saffron, this is not the time . . . to move!!! Please hold still, dear mumakling! Oh dear . . . we are going for a ride, it seems. And yes, thank Elanorelle for the name as I'll be calling this oliphaunt Saffron now . . . now Saffron, please!
Oh, this is awfully fast! Dear mumakling, please slow down! I'm no longer a young hobbit and this is a bit frightening! I don't quite have the hang of this riding a mumak bareback thing yet! Steady, please, if you won't stop!
Those branches are very low! Clearance, dear Saffron, clearance! You must give more room on top for a passenger or I'll be swept clear off here! Oh! This is too fast! Let me try to flip over.
There! It's slightly less frightening when you can see straight ahead. Of all the confounded times for her to decide to take a stroll! If it is just a stroll, that is. I wonder . . .
It's almost as if she's trying to take me somewhere . . . as if she were waiting for me to climb on her back, for she showed no adventurous tendencies since I brought her back from Radagast's Emporium. But why away from the heart of Eldamar and deeper into the forest?
You are trying to take me somewhere, aren't you, my mumakling? *reaches down to pat her* This is definitely a mumak on a mission. But where? And to what purpose? If it's a journey to meet mum and dad, I do hope they approve of me, or else I shan't be returning to tell the tale. I wonder how a baby mumak came to be in Eldamar anyway?
There. I'm starting to get my bearings. My heart tells me that it is to no evil purpose she is carrying me, but what could it be? *sighs* Well, this is certainly turning out to be an adventure now. I suppose I needed one. I have been resting long enough in Tol Eressea with dear Bilbo. I'm up for it now.
You've never carried a passenger before have you, Saffron? *pats her* How do I know? You obviously have no prior experience because your passenger will be one no longer if you don't take care . . . those branches are too low and thick!
Oh, I'm in terrible danger, and I have no Sam beside me! It's so unfair! Sam! Oh dear!
Oh! Ouch! Mumak, I can't avoid . . . Please back out of this stream bed . . the trees here are too thickly overhanging . . . oh no!
Oh, please help! Someone . . . ooooph! Ow!!!! I can't hold oooOooooooh no!
*crack* Aaaahhhhhhhoooooooopppphh!!!!! *crack, crash*
*trot, trot, trot* MMMMMRRRRBBBBBLLLLLRRTTT!!!!
Quenya translation: Aiya n'umya! Waenen!
Westron translation: Oh no! Crap!
Click on any picture for enbiggenment.
To be continued . . . here.